Ziva founder Emily Fletcher spoke with Pedram Shojai, otherwise known as The Urban Monk, about what meditation can do for you (especially improve your sex, increase your compassion, and move toward the positive and away from the negative). Have a listen here or download the podcast:
Some excerpts from the conversation:
On clearing your mind (and why you don’t have to in order to meditate)
Pedram Shojai: A lot of people in the West feel like they feel at meditation because they’re not stopping their mind. So, let’s talk about not needing to do that.Emily Fletcher: In my personal experience and, at least in the trainings I’ve had and the traditions I’ve studied, your efficacy of meditation has nothing to do with your ability to give our brain a command to stop thinking. What is challenging, certainly for a beginner, is to sit down and say, “OK brain, stop thinking!” [And when that doesn’t happen], it can make us feel like a failure — and that’s the beginning and the end of most poeple’s meditation careers. So I’m on a bit of a mission to really reframe this for people. I think the important thing to take away here is that the mind thinks involuntarily, just like the heart beats involuntarily. And so, what I give people a lot of permission to do, is to know you’re going to have thoughts during meditation.
On sex (and how it improves when you meditate)
PS: Better orgasms, better sex, you’ve experienced this through meditation. I think a lot of people with meditation practices have better intimacy. What’s happening here?
EF: I heard from so many of my students that they were having dramatically better sex, and so I started doing more and more research on it — and I realized there’s a lot of neuroscience that backs this up.
When you’re stressed, you’re in a constant state of “fight or flight” mode with high levels of adrenaline and cortisol in your body. These two stress chemicals dampen our senses — but guess what sex is? A decidedly five sensory experience. So when you have too much adrenaline and cortisol in your body, you’re not seeing, tasting, touching, feeling as deeply as you could. And, from a chemical standpoint, if women have too much cortisol in their bodies, they are physically incapable of orgasm. And if men have too much adrenaline, they’re physically incapable of erection.
So what I’ve found with meditation is that, you’re getting rid of stress in your body and you have so much energy left for the creative — and sex can be a creative act. You become more intuitive aout your lover’s needs, and the more you see them having pleasure, the more pleasure it brings you — and it becomes a very generous upward spiral versus a “can we just get this over with and get back to Netflix” situation.
This and so much more in the video above. Enjoy!