“If stress is impacting our sex—which it is—and if meditation is the most effective stress-relieving tool that we have, then it stands to reason that if you’re practicing meditation, it may in fact make your sex better,” Ziva founder Emily Fletcher told well+good last week. And scientists agree: a recent study found that group mindfulness sessions significantly increased sexual desire, arousal, and function.
“The most important link between meditation and really good sex, [Emily] says, is that the former makes us more present—which means ‘you can enjoy each moment, rather than looking at sex as this outcome-oriented task.'” In the article, Emily offers an in-the-moment five-minute technique called Come to Your Senses (see below), to ground you firmly in your body and in the right now so you can focus on and enjoy sex (partner optional).
However, the best way to get the comprehensive benefits of meditation for better sex is to cultivate a consistent practice. You can learn from Emily in-person or online and find out why one Ziva graduate “said she had an orgasm every time she hit the sheets. (Yes, really.)”
Come to Your Senses
This exercise jettisons you so firmly into your body—into the right now—that it’s hard to be stressed. For the first few times, do the meditation seated with your eyes closed, but once you’ve got the hang of it, you could do it as you’re putting on your lingerie, as you’re making the bed, or as you’re showering.
Sit with your back supported and your head free. Take a few breaths, close your eyes, and settle in.
Then, walk through each of your five senses.
Start with what you’re hearing. What’s the most prevalent sound you can detect right now? And then, if you have extra time, listen for the most subtle.
With the next breath, feel what you’re feeling. What’s the most prevalent tactile sensation you can feel right now? Can you feel the chair beneath you, can you feel your skin beneath your clothes? And then, if you have time, what’s the most subtle?
With your next breath, move on to what you’re seeing—and it might just be blackness, or the light coming through your eyelids. And then once you get advanced and can do this with your eyes open, just think, what’s the most beautiful thing you can detect right now?
Next breath, what’s the most prevalent smell you can smell right now, and what’s the most subtle? And then do the same for taste.
It’s so simple—you’re just walking through each of your senses, and then once you’ve done all five, you want to pull back and see if you can hold all five senses in your awareness at the same time. So hear what you’re hearing, feel what you’re feeling, see what you’re seeing, taste what you’re tasting, and smell what you’re smelling, all at the same time.
Doing this can’t help but improve sex, because sex is such a five-sensory experience.
How else can you raise your libido to sex goddess heights? Foods, yoga poses, and even getting a year older can amp things up in the bedroom.
Peruse the zivaVAULT for more juicy articles, podcasts and videos on health, relationships, sex and more. Join us in person for a free Intro to Meditation talk or visit zivaONLINE to start your meditation journey online.