Do you have an apology addiction? How often do you unnecessarily apologize for things?
If someone bumps into you at the grocery store or when you’re one minute late to a work meeting, do you mindlessly say “I’m sorry!”?
I basically apologized my way through my 20’s. This is something I see so frequently because for too long, we were conditioned to play small and not make waves.
But this is something we need to change.
When people over-apologize it is often because they want to make other people feel more comfortable.
However, the habit of constantly apologizing is really communicating this: I’m sorry for the space I take up in the world. I’m sorry for the air that I breathe. I am sorry if my presence is inconvenient for you.
This is not attractive.
It’s not attractive to weaken yourself to make other people feel more comfortable. In fact, I think it does the opposite.
Over-apologizing does not inspire confidence that other people can trust us. It’s also creating a feedback loop in our brains that tells us that other people’s presence means more than ours ,causing us to continue to play small and weaken our power.
- I created this video to talk about why we need to stop the apology addiction. In it, I share a story where someone first called me out for my apology addiction — it’s something that still sticks with me today. I also dive into:
- Why over-apologizing may come across insulting even though you mean the opposite
- How meditating will increase your deserving power so you can start fully inhabiting the space you take up.
- An exercise that will help you become mindful of how frequently you apologize.
What I know is this: people feel safe around confident people. And you demanding the attention you deserve and stepping fully into your power will draw the right type of people to you. While it may feel uncomfortable at first, I urge you to try it.
We have big work to do on this planet — and we can’t be apologizing our way through it.
Let’s say what we mean to say and show up as our best and brightest selves, shall we?